JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize