does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
