Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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