garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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