He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
