yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
