I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize