I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
