I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
