I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
