My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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