Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
