I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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