you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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