Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
