Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
