Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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