I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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