It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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