I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
