If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
