Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
