One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
