first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
