i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
