Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
pray to the hookup gods
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
