she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize