Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
