walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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