My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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