I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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