I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Drunk is not a location!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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