Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That accounts for only three of the penises
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
