Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
