so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
a search helicopter?!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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