So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
