So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
