She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
