awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i out mim tonsoeep
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
