I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
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