next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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