This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she peed on how many people?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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