He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
