Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize