I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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