would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize