Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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