yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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