There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
