Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
