I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
