i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
