mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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