I didn't shave. On purpose
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
