I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
