so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
