No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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