Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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