I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize