Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
