Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
